Vampires Vs Werewolfs The Night Of The Treaty!
by TheTwilightPixie
Summary: this is what really happened the night of the treaty. is Levi gay. Emphriam BATMAN . the cullens SPIDERMAN very funny read and find out


Vampires Vs Werewolf's

What Really Happened The Night Of The Treaty.

**Intro : this story is set in the la push woods. The cullens are hunting and they come across the wolfs but there phases as men.**

**The italic writing **_like this _**is what there thinking and the **normal **is what there saying umk. Lets go.**

Ephraim : "I Think I need to get my affro cut""

Levi : "your affro" ??

Levi : _a shaved head ?? _

Ephraim : "ever feel like a pet."

Levi : _yes all the time _

Levi : "no. you"

Ephraim : "Well . Sometimes I want too. Play fetch."

Levi : _ME TOO _

Levi : hmmm..

( Levi and Ephraim inhale)

Ephraim : An New Scent ??

Levi : ITS SOOO BAD … EWWWW worse than. Shite

Ephraim : worse then dead antalope

Levi: WORSE THAN PARIS HILTON

( lets roll bitch and we see what it is)

Levi : if you think about it. Were like a team. Batman and robin

Ephraim : actually. We are.

Levi : can I be batman ??

Ephraim : NOO way im not being gay robin

Levi : He's not gay

Ephraim : well be be him

Levi : FINE. Batman

Ephraim : hehe

**They see the cullens and go up to talk to them in there human form. **

Levi : _THERE ABSOLUTLEY GORGEUS _

Edward : thank you

Ephraim : what he say

Edward : that were pretty

Ephraim : cough gay cough

Levi : Am not

Ephraim : are Too !

Levi : Not

Ephraim : Too

Levi : Not

Ephraim : Too

Levi : Not

Ephraim : Too

Levi : Not

Ephraim : Too

**Two hours . 17,000 not's and 17001 Too's later. **

Levi : Not

Ephraim : Too

Carlisle : PLEASE SHUT THE FRICK UP ! GET OVER IT ! YOUR GAY ! YOUR ROBIN GET OVER IT

Levi : Shut up… bitch

Edward : SORRY WHAT

Rosalie : what did you call my daddy ?? TURP

Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Ephraim, Levi : daddy ?

Rosalie : I mean Carlisle. I GOT RAPED DAMMITT ! IM IN CONFUSION.

Edward : daddy hehehe.

( Rosalie leaps at Edward. But Edward flicks her away n she goes flying)

Carlisle :Stop now. My children.

Esme : yes. Stop

Levi : So what are you. Your too cold to be wolfs. To fast to be humans. AND TO BEUTIFULL ! To be natural

Carlisle : not gay t'all ??

Levi : I WAS TALKING ABOUT BLONDIE not bronzey.

Edward : not what your thinking

Ephraim : look. What are you ?

Carlisle : swear not to tell no one

Levi, Ephraim : yes. Swear

Carlisle : double swear

Levi, Ephraim : Double swear.

Carlisle : Tripl-

Levi,Ephraim : THE POINT

Carlisle : guess

Levi : I have one

Edward : SAY IT !

Edward : OUT LOUD SAY IT !!

Levi : I think --

Edward : SAY IT !!

Levi : I AM SHUT THE FUCK UP

Edward : WELL SAY IT !!

Levi : Spider man ?

Edward : batman, robin and spider man ??

Levi : SO YOU ARE SPIDERMAN

Edward : No I -

Levi : _spider man, spider man, does what ever a spider can spins a web-_

Edward : were not spiders Levi

Levi : Sureeee

Edward : Were vam

Edward : Vamp

Edward : VAMPIRES !

Edward : are you afraid

Levi : NO

Levi : _IM SHITIN _

Ephraim : our job is protect the people/dogs of La Push. The only thing we harm is THE CATS !!!

Levi : Damn fluffy she kills me !.

Esme, Carlisle : trust us, we wont harm your people/dogs we just eat animals

Levi : what animals ?

Edward : deer, elk and mountain lion.

Ephraim : Ohh no

Levi : YOU KILLED BAMBI !!

Edward : what no that's just-

Levi : YOU KILLED BAMBI.. YOU, YOU GORGEUS MONSTER

Edward : we didn't kill -

Levi : WHATS NEXT. E.T ? THE LITTLE MEIRMAID ??

Carlisle : Look. Your as bad as we are. You eat animals to

Levi : I ONLY EAT THE BAD ONES ! Like……… Ursella. Yer Man. I DON'T TOUCH THE DEER. OR SIMBA !!

Rosalie : Ooh shut up you gay. GAY !

Ephraim : gay gay ??

Rosalie : OOH YOU WANT A SLAP . Pretty people give slaps

Levi : ooh im soo scared now. Bitch

Edward : DON'T CALL MY SISTER A BITCH

Levi : FINE . Carlisle ??

Carlisle : yes.

Levi : BITCH !

Edward : OOH YOUR SO DEAD NOW..

_( Edward leaps and throws Levi to the ground. Has a frozen piss on him. Ties him to a tree)_

Edward : Ha Ha

Levi : I WILL GET OUT OF HERE WATCH ME PHASE.

(_levi pulls out a pair of plastic ears and stick on plastic tail. And with magic marker colours his nose and draws whiskers on his cheek) _

Levi : GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR now your all scared and …. I am still tied

Ephraim: ok im phasing

(_Ephraim does the same as Levi)_

Ephraim : GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Carlisle : are these puppies for serious. There less threathnig than Chihuahua's.

Ephraim : ok im making a treaty

_(pulls out magic marker and paper)_

Ephraim : Now IF ANYONE EVER ---

Ephraim : sorry I don't mean to be a pain could I use someones back just to lean on so I can write

Esme : go ahead

**THE TREATY !!!**

**Intro : this is the written treaty written on the night of the treaty ( wow great choice of words I chose )**

_I Ephraim Black (black of the black's) here by sentence a treaty to hold peace between These Vampire-Spider men. They Must. _

_.1. Stay Off Quil Lands. Where the boarderline starts over there_

_.2. Refrene from calling Levi Gay _

_.3. Don't harm Bambi _

_.4. Don't harm E.T _

_.5. If for some reason a grandson of us falls in love with a human girl and the human girl just happens to be love with the vampire that no harm will be done to the girl or the grandson. _

_.6. There is no 6th__ statement_

_.7. Ephraim is cool _

_.8. Ephraim rules_

_.9. Dogs are cool _

_.10. Cats are stupid _

_The end _

And that is how that night really happened !

THE END


End file.
